Rap Verse Forums - Defining Illness

Hold On To You


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-- Hold On To You
 
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Posted by A77iCuS
its kinda short. i also kinda slowed down at the end, i find it hard to rap things up....

When I saw you the last time, I didnt know it would be the last..
All the happyness you have given me is burried into the past....
Some days I just sit, and lay awake at night..
Drenched in sweat, unable to contian my fright....
I tried to be your night in shining armour..
But everythin in this world is gettin harder....
I just wish I could hold you in my arms..
Wanna protect you from everythin, dont wanna see you harmed....
If I could be anything in the world it would be one of your tears..
When I look into your eyes its like my pain suddenly clears....
Born in the eye, Live on the cheek, and Die at the lips..
Now all I want is something granted from you, just one last kiss....

Posted by petey4209
hey man nice and all but for poetry thats more of a poem then a ryhme but i mean keep goin at it

Posted by prophacyz
yo thats some good shit...had nice flow...gimme some feedback on this poem...

old mans memory of a silent midnight suicide.

Posted by filed
a topic done many times, yet the saddness always tends to pull me in, also the fact that everyone always seems to have different ways of putting theres, or another way to look at the situation. i felt the intro could be better, it started of with lines you read in tons of poems. but it does get better, its just simple thou, which once in awhile isnt a bad thing. your emotion clear. try to use your own imangiary more. nice read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Posted by A77iCuS
yeh it wasnt to original i took someones msn name for the first line and used one of those ever cheasy pickup lines in the body, i thot it would be kinda neat to try and turn it into a poem. just tried a different aproach