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Existence


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Posted by Tourniquet
My name is not important
As my life is unimportant
I have no fixed, determined
Or knowledgeable future,
Only death is promised.
I am alone in a world
That is meaningless
Full of responsibility
Waiting, for nothing-
Waiting to die.

Existence is always, primarily
The dilemma of existence,
Thus – the nature of man.

Consider this-
A human existence
Posing itself, as a problem
Projecting itself with absolute freedom
Creating itself, by itself.
Thus, assuming the function of God.
I ask, what is mans ultimate significance
In this universe-
And I come face to face
With the possibility, of the
Impossibility of any existence at all.

So, you beg the question-
Why is there something there,
Rather than nothingness?
Well, let us re-evaluate our values-
Perhaps, there is no God, no religion
And man is simply the outcome
Of an environmental accident.
Development thrust, into the
Factors of mind and voice.

In nothingness, there is nothing.

We are adrift in this universe
Waiting- tediously waiting
To fill the nothingness of death.
Man is not a detached observer
Of this world, but its creator.
Man is open to a future
Where he determines his own choices.
We, as beings, make ourselves.
We are defined by our actions,
Our choices throughout life.
And yet, we all inevitably end in death.
Therefore, life becomes meaningless.
Useless, a condition which in itself
Is absurd –

Man is lost.

Life is a process of loss,
A decay into death, an odour
A comedy of manners.
An era, simply for one to wait for death.
If only man could recognize, and
Accept his existence as nothing-
There may be hope.

As death in itself, is illogical to life.

In the End,
Human behaviour is motivated
By the will to power.
By abandoning a rational path
Through life,
I must attempt to find order-
In a world gone mad.
What all humans seek, among them myself,
Is some measure of happiness,
In this chaotic and unpredictable world
Void of meaning and purpose.

Posted by The Necromancer
Do you study a lot of phylosophy? I ask because this had a LOT of touches of various forms of modern phylosophy. The nothing but death is promised is a touching bit of Aleister Crowly. Assuming the function of God is a big part of Anton Levey's beliefs. I saw it touching on parts of existentialism proposed by Ken Kesey. And the end seemed a lot of what I always thought Gerald Gardner was heading towards.

I mean, if you like don't ever study any of this stuff and have no idea who any of the aforementioned dudes are then it's like... fucking woah! Seriously.

And I seriously was feeling this peice too. Because it touched on a few things I phylosophized and theorized about myself. While being full of responsibility but waiting for nothing but to die. That's the scheiße I'm always thinking about.

You've got one hell of a head on your shoulders for this kind of stuff. If you could elaborate on all the points you make in it, you could come up with your own religeous texts. (In fact, three of the dudes I mentioned have started their own religeons. Crowlianity, Satanism, and Wicca. Ken Kesey only started the Hippy movement of the sixtys.)

~Irenic!

Posted by varentao
Your avatar seems to be Arabic. Which intrigues me when going along with this piece...

...which is a quite eerie and akwardly detailed (in a good way). It raises a lot of questions, and pummels them into the ground almost straight away. In a kind of personal melancholy which broods with writing talent.

Nothing more to say.

...resp..

Posted by Tourniquet
Thanks for the feedback.

Necro, you are correct in mentioning existentialism... When I first went to Uni I did 1 semester of Psych before changing my second major, and the existentialism theories always intrigued me. I havnt studied it formally for nearly 5 years though, just my own personal interest.
I tried writing the piece so that the thoughts were sort of looping, confusing in a way... because I wanted the reader to actually feel the complication that we fill our lives with and all for nothing as we all die in the end anyway, and to me, that makes us all equals. Its the one thing everyone can be assured of having in common, death.

V, my avatar is that of the Koran, a book that sits on my bedside table always. I tend not to close myself off to any certain path in life, except my own. And that involves parts of many different faiths/theories/beliefs of what we are and our purpose while we are here. As a student of archeaology and ancient religions I am always finding new teachings so my thoughts are constantly changing, but always questioning. For study purposes I learn all, but personally I take only that which I feel akin to and I move on.

Once again, thanks for the feedback :)