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Day at Sea.


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-- Day at Sea.
 
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Posted by Po' Wit.
Day at Sea



Left so early,
feels like yesterday
you were here.
Commiserating, just us
laughing so hard
we shed tears.

We did everything,
no seperating us
anywhere we went.
One childish tiff
started a feud,
friendship was bent.

Refusing to speak,
turn our heads
when we pass.
Three long weeks,
our difference interrupted
discussions in class.

Valiantly you appologized,
bigger than I,
for i'm weak.
Revengefully showed spite,
snide remarks when
ever we'd speak.

But horror strikes,
and unexpectedly you,
lost your life.
The tragic outcome,
really wasnt worth,
our meaningless strife.

Reflecting our conflict,
I'm disgusted with,
all my actions.
I was tainted,
Mesmerized by revenges
unresistable attraction.

Leading to this,
quietly sitting here,
with ashes of thee'.
Drifting further away,
granting your wishes,
burial at sea.

Dry thine' eyes,
glimpse to the skies,
it was my fault.
Throw your remains,
Anchor pulling me,
Breathing comes to a hault.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
R.I.P. Travis. 1 love, your always in my prayers.

Posted by Po' Wit.
http://www.community.rapverse.com/s...ad.php?t=216891
http://www.community.rapverse.com/s...ad.php?t=214317

Posted by Po' Wit.
Please dont sleep on this. Its a good piece!

Posted by Valor
good read fath the flow of this gave it a freeverse attitud3e with a smooth rhyme sceme so i was definatly feeling that aspect of the piece, the structure was good, decent average vocab, the concept i heard before but its not really to the point to say it's played, id say the ending was my favorite area of the piece it was just a nice clean safe way to end a good piece.

Posted by [♡]_Fuck_you_ho
.. Very Nice Well Thought Out ... Piece It Was Good To Say Thes Least Although You Could Have 'Improved' In Some Areas ... Yet It Wasn't At All Bad I Found It To Be Quite 'Enjoyable' Reading... And I Felt The Emotions That Went On In This 'Work' Fairly Nice ... There Was Decent Vocab, Although That Wouldn't Have Been My Choice In Format... Yet I Do Understand Everybody Has There Own Technique ... And I Do Admire That ... Again - It Was A Nice Piece Of Work.