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Week 7 Mag. - Shit is Weak.


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-- Week 7 Mag. - Shit is Weak.
 
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Posted by Kirk
Introduction

Hey, guys. It's Kirk. I don't plan on putting very many big words into this or being very serious. This week was alright, if you decide to not look at the two no-show battles and a huge confusion in the contendership match. Hopefully, we won't have that problem again. I altered the rules a bit to help further understand them and stuff. But anyway, there were some really close battles, and really one-sided battles. No in between. But I'm not gonna ramble. Check it out.




Battle Reviews

Kirk vs. Flight - Heavyweight Match

Finally got a final vote to decide. LFS gave the winning vote to Kirk. Now being that I was in this battle, I don't have much to say. Really close battle though. I think it could have gone either way. Good shit, Flight. I'm sure we'll see each other again.

Adam vs. JTR - Contendership Match

This was a confusing and disapointing battle. In the end, JTR took the no-show (but not subtraction of points due to the confusion) but decided to drop a drunken verse for everyone's amusement. To avoid this problem again I altered the rules to help solve problems like these. Adam has got his shot at the title now. Love you both you guys though. Except not in that way.

Lay Fear vs. Malicious

This was a very one-sided battle. Lay Fear dropped his usual verse, some sick punches here and there with a bit of swag to it. He told me Malicious used to be a killer battler, but apparently he hasn't worked off the rust just yet. Hopefully next week we'll see what he is truly made of.

LFS vs. Intangible

This was a pretty good battle. Most of the voters thought that Intangible could have taken this if he had a couple more hard hitting punches, but what he had just wasn't enough to overwhelm him. LFS came a bit harder, as he does every week and edged it out with his humor and wit. With these battles elevating so quickly, there's no telling how sick they'll be towards the end of the season.

King Solo vs. Big Chase

This was also another one-sided battle. Big Chase was accidentally given a battle this week after signing out, but agreed to show anyway. King Solo droppedpretty early and tossed out a few of his clever punches to capture the win. Big Chase then dropped a mediocre verse that looked like he spent no time on. Solo took this one easy. Thanks for showing though Chase.

Satan vs. Big Picture

Double no-show. HUGE cunt move.

Dickard vs. Ramcees

Double no-show. HUGE cunt move (on Dickard's part). Ramcees is still cool.




Top Punches
One or two from each battle.

shit, i've got a stronghold on this one, there's no way you're going to push by
yeah, you have the tidal, so its only fitting you get a big wave goodbye
Flight vs. Kirk

This fag gets no pussy. Nowadays he ain't even sayin' that it's bullshit,
E.T. ain't had finger action since the 80's and even then it was with school kids.
Kirk vs. Flight

Been trying to soar for years, seen you at your best and your worst.
But Josh, you'll never catch Flight...
.........................................unless he loses to Kirk.
Adam vs. JTR

i mean look at the evidence, no one in vtl see you winnin dude,
seriously the only one who picked me to lose this battle was you,
LFS vs. Intangible

Your mother gets around..she's always reeling to scream.
And this is a bigger Ma - Lay matchup..then the night ya were really conceived.
Lay Fear vs. Malicious

& you n ur boys handle the smoke.. kid, get back to reality
only way you pass the dutch is by way of a technicality
King Solo vs. Big Chase




Battle of the Week

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flight
i think we've had enough of dry verses, so please, just quit spitting
everytime i'm always left saying OK.... how the hell are you still winning
so i start my windup, i'll sit him down...aim straight for this dike's mouth
it's not like im trying to brag here... but K was meant to strikeout
shit, i've got a stronghold on this one, there's no way you're going to push by
yeah, you have the tidal, so its only fitting you get a big wave goodbye
and you can tell K wanted it bad, but he doesn't do it to be viewed 'champ'
so along with his heavyweight belt, he bought his girl some new pants
i strike quick, bitch i hit with fire, you just got lucky the first bout
i know this is my match to light up... cause yours is by far burnt out
its my time to shine, i'll smack ya silly, send your head for a long spin
for real, its not much to take Mr.Kite... actually, all you need is a strong wind
and you're shit is such a downer man, really, it almost bores me to death
cause you're verses are such an anchor man... i'll go watch that movie instead
see i step up my game, while Kirk'll just get desperate for licks
last week he just barely did lay-up... i could do those when i was six
you can see he's a Beatles fan, so he tries some big hits in his verses
but if he wants to create an impact like them... i'll make him one in the ground first
and i hear he has some writers block, lately those concepts keep missin'
so some advice, stick to what you know... topcials aren't suppose to have disses


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirk
Apparently some of ya'll want me to be like Taco, but dawgs, I'll remind you,
Why would I go El way? When it consists of grabbin' balls from behind dudes,
You're definetly on a roll. Bro, your best punches... well, all of them weak,
Cause your winning streak is just a shit stain in the drawers of the league,
This fag gets no pussy. Nowadays he ain't even sayin' that it's bullshit,
E.T. ain't had finger action since the 80's and even then it was with school kids,
Faggot. Yes, we have battled before. You thought I couldn't see you kid,
But now Flight... Its 'round two.......... votes that I'll fuckin' beat you with,
Ain't takin' this title, Flight. But go ahead and toss out a mean verse,
Cause if you EVER have this belt over your shoulders you'll be on your knees first.
I'll hurt this whore. And that quote in your sig. is words of pure,
You know EXACTLY what its like to be raindrops cause your verse is pour,
Ain't in my division, son. The truth is I'm winnin' cause I got a better word,
This is a heavyweight match bro... your chick would be a better competitor,
I didn't know you were a car guy. But looking back... well lemme think,
Guess you're right.... Cause this fag always does prefer a hot rod over anything,
Forreal, Flight. You never hurt me with your lines in this battle, are you kiddin' me?
You ain't delivered no champ pagne.... but you can pop a bottle for my victory.





Verse of the Weak

Quote:
Originally Posted by Malicious
kid will make it no where in life n dis site better believe me
kid sets low personal standards, then consistently fails to achieve them
Dis guys been gettin pwned for years n i know it hurt
N I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Ima pwn you fag cuz as i step in here i can tell ur not ready
N You're not yourself today. N I noticed improvement already
Jus clowning you is fun but today ur lifes gonna be done
So You should do some soul-searching N Maybe you'll find one
kids lost in life n dont know if hes a real deal faggit
But Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't





Power Rankings
Edited after battles closed

1. Kirk - "Mr. Consistent" barely won it this week. He'll have to try extra hard next week to keep the title in his hands.

2. Flight - Even after the loss, we all know that Flight is a deadly texter and will be going after that belt as soon as he gets the chance.

3. Lay Fear - Working his way to the top, slowly but surely. All he has to do is take out King Solo and he'll get his chance.

4. Adam - Brushing some of the rust off, Adam is getting back into his old school "I'll embarrass you" mood over time.

5. King Solo - He's not cocky, he's confident. Okay, he's cocky. But he has reason too coming with his witty and clever punches.




Outro

More will be edited as the champ match is closed. Such as the power ranking descriptions, the actual ranks, and the battle review. Also will be putting up battle predictions, the battles, and reviewing last weeks battle predictions and adding points according to who was correct. Let's try to come hard this week, and try to vote on all the battles. Looking foward to this week. So turn on, tune in, and drop out.

Posted by JTR
i got a couple things to do but ill vote in the champ match in a couple hours or so unless someone else does by then

Posted by Kirk
Sorry if the mag. was kinda half assed.

Posted by Adam
1. Kirk - "Mr. Consistent" barely won it this week. He'll have to try extra hard next week to keep the title in his hands.

^ Oh, don't give me this bullshit.

/Oh, don't use this as a punch.

Herb.

Posted by Kirk
You're the herb. And by herb, I mean cool guy.

Posted by King Solo
Damn you for not putting me higher in the power rankings.

Posted by Kirk
Damn you.... for something or other.

Posted by King Solo
^ I heard you were fat. Is it true?

Posted by Kirk
For sure. Mega fat. Except not.

Posted by King Solo
Ummm, is Lay Fear going to show for our battle this week?

Also, is my suggested line limit cool? Because, it says maximum 20, but I want to go 30 because Lay is a good battler and we could make it a raw match.

Posted by King Solo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam
1. Kirk - "Mr. Consistent" barely won it this week. He'll have to try extra hard next week to keep the title in his hands.

^ Oh, don't give me this bullshit.

/Oh, don't use this as a punch.

Herb.



LMFAO!! I've only just realised what he said.

He said next week he'll have to try extra hard, thus implying that he is going to breeze by you Adam.

Posted by Adam
Hahaha, nah he's talking about this week, I was just hating on myself.

It's cool/emo, your favourite.

Posted by King Solo
Word, but read in context it suggest that he thinks you are a gay homo fag with garbage skills. But, @ least you are still sexy.

Posted by Adam
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Solo
Word, but read in context it suggest that he thinks you are a gay homo fag with garbage skills. But, @ least you are still sexy.


Dude, beat Lay so I can beat you next week. :cool:

Posted by Kirk
That's awfully confident.

Posted by Adam
Nah, awfully sarcastic.

Posted by Kirk
Awfully poop......

Posted by King Solo
Nobody can defeat me, because I stay rocking my invulnerability condom.

Posted by Lay.
word, good mag. I'm back..

Posted by King Solo
did you have a good ol' jamaican time?

Posted by Lay.
it was bermuda..yeah, shit was dope

Posted by King Solo
bermuda... triangle... i went there one time and got lost.

Posted by Lay.
yeah, it was sketchy