Rap Verse Forums - Defining Illness

ne1 ever felt like this... (part 1)


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-- ne1 ever felt like this... (part 1)
 
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Posted by Prolyfic
beautiful portrait, true to be viewed as God's art,
lucid complexion, smooth a silk tha touch of her skin/
tha blood of her kin s'been blended w/ angels,
bendin my mind, heart intwined w/ tha sight of her halo/
a soul seduction, her touchin my cold construction,
no objections, blessin my thoughts w/ obssession/
obesinities, to divinty, for her tranquility,
if I leave this very instant will she remember me?/
minutes to infinity, she replenished my meaning,
hopin to meet her cuz her love exists in my sleep/
dreamin, time progression, sharin my affection,
in sweatin up our sheets, 9 months born a seed/
my wants adore her needs, im king an shes queen,
will she condone, comin to sit, atop my throne/
her eyes spoke w/ glitter an grace, her face lit,
tha whole room, then nobody was there but us 2/
I must pursue but soon fear arose to my throat,
sensin rejection, i'd never meet her need of profection/
to this day, i stil bleed cuz my dreams deffered,
exit stage left of tha set and never breathed a word...

Posted by R-Cypher
in a way yes. it was good i liked it. im not gonna go into detail y but yes i can relate. good work.

Posted by Prolyfic
thx for tha opinions uppin...

Posted by Legendary
Nice job. I liked the way it was worded. Hard to explain. I just liked reading it. I have felt like that though, somewhat. I hope to read more of yours.

Posted by DaGyrlRemarqabL
OOh. I liked this a lot. Strong imagery and effortless flow made this a great piece. Very dreamy sort of vibe to it, nice capture of emotions also. I was most definately feelin it. My favorite lines were:

>tha blood of her kin s'been blended w/ angels,
bendin my mind, heart intwined w/ tha sight of her halo/

and

>obesinities, to divinty, for her tranquility,
if I leave this very instant will she remember me?/

Nice writin Pro, ill keep an eye out for more from you.
Pz.