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My 5 Flowers


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Posted by G_Gizmo.Guz
yo i dropped this in open mic but peeps thought i should post it here


My 5 Flowers

In this box you will find
What you only find in my heart
Five flowers that will never die
and my love for you, that with time, will only multiply

Flower 1:
The day we met
It was a Wednesday Morning
A day in September to be Precise
I felt meaningless
you saw me lonely , you talked to me
and with a smile you made me breathe

Flower 2:
The day we kissed
It was a cold day in the fall, but all we felt was bliss
you looked at me and kissed my lips
I knew from then, my love for you will never slip

Flower 3:
The day we finally hooked up and made it official
SOme liked it, Some didnt,
but never did i let someone diss you
Our hopes to never let go and stay together for a wedding
Our loving days together were just a matter of telling

Flower 4:
The day I told you I loved you
I was certain , cause for something Like this , I dont make mistakes.
you said you loved me too.
If I were to ever hate you, The lord my soul to take.

Flower 5:
The day my reality came to an end
A short dark day in January, some 5 months since I met you
I havent seen you since yesterday, and never will in my living days.
I spent with you the entire day , we talked and laughed like everyday.

You left with your friends, I watched you leave
They asked you questions as if u were a celebrity
and you denied everything, including the way you felt for me
you stabbed me in the heart, you flushed away the memories.
And now my dear, you are dead to me....

I gave you my life,I gave you my all
I still lie heartbroken , you see me everyday, and dont bother to call...
But i cannot change the past with these words Ive said..
These five flowers symbolize my love
and they will never be dead..

Posted by G_Gizmo.Guz
Uppin what yall think

Posted by [*MФ* ]
This was awesome, i love this was so different to other poems ive seen and trust me i used to look at alot being an EX poetry mod here!!
Very sweet boo,
Props!!

Pz

Posted by G_Gizmo.Guz
Thanx a lot....STill uppin for some more peeps

Posted by Silky
yea... this was a really nice piece... feeling it a lot... props

Peace

Posted by latina4life
i agree wit the others dis waz really good :)

Posted by Legendary
Like Diamond said, this one was different. I've never read one with this kind of concept. The flowers and all. It was really good. I enjoyed it.

"Flower 1:
The day we met
It was a Wednesday Morning
A day in September to be Precise
I felt meaningless
you saw me lonely , you talked to me
and with a smile you made me breathe"

This part I liked because the first time you meet that special someone is always remembered. And you wrote about it well. Expressed it with good words. I liked the last line how you said she made you breathe with a smile. It was good.

"Flower 5:
The day my reality came to an end
A short dark day in January, some 5 months since I met you
I havent seen you since yesterday, and never will in my living days.
I spent with you the entire day , we talked and laughed like everyday.

You left with your friends, I watched you leave
They asked you questions as if u were a celebrity
and you denied everything, including the way you felt for me
you stabbed me in the heart, you flushed away the memories.
And now my dear, you are dead to me...."

This part of it kind of shocked me. Early on in the poem everything seemed to be going great then came that twist to it. I didn't expect that at all.

This was definately a good piece. I felt it as I was reading it. Nice job.

Posted by G_Gizmo.Guz
THanx everyone....Still uppin what everyone else thinx



by the way ...its based on something that actually happened in my life

Posted by olja*Lyricist
Real good poem towards the end I was shocked by the twist...

Posted by DaGyrlRemarqabL
^Yeah. Nice twist at the end.
Madd original stuff, the whole 5 flowers bit, really creative. Lots of emotion in this, easy to feel and relate to. Ending was really powerful, over all tight piece. Stay up with this n keep blessin us.
Peace.

Posted by G_Gizmo.Guz
^thanx

Posted by verbal ice
Ya man this was really creative i thought it was really good

Posted by filed
NICE piece creative and all keep them pumpin

Posted by SmoothCrmnl
eyo eyo man

do doubt the flow and wordplay were off the chains...it wasn't a chore to read like other poetry....i wanna read more...

the twist at the end - from happy to sad made it great

holla

Posted by SmoothCrmnl
eh holla at me....

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=58912